The post I did on the Dove body wash the other day, really got me thinking about body image and self esteem. I stated that one of the reasons I like to use Dove products, is their social mission and commitment to building positive self esteem in all women and young girls.
Then I read Katie's post, a rebuttle to a recent controversy involving Kate Upton, who was being publicly bashed for being "too fat." I'm sorry, but when did this define "fat?"
It was appalling what hundreds of women were saying about her body. To be publicly ridiculed, called horrible names and be completely degraded like that was just mean. Why the judgement? Why is beauty restricted to being a size 0?
You know, everywhere in society, no matter if it's fashion, decor, etc. there is this desire to put down in order to lift yourself up. I found that article (cuz I'm crazy like that!) and it was truly ugly. The only point I took from it was something that I've done myself, and that is to think/say something negative about a really skinny person, and I've probably even jokingly said things like "go eat a burger" or something similar. I never saw that as anything but playful, but I can see how it could be just as hurtful as the high school ridicule I suffered. Do I think it's on the same plane? No. But hurt is hurt.
That being said, this was the ONLY positive thing I took from that article. Everything else that was said was ugly and just plain mean. The article has since received a lot of internet media attention, and in the articles comments, the author and subsequently the readers were upset at how they were incorrectly portrayed and judged. Um, hello?? Pot, meet kettle. You're both black.
I have a friend who has daughter, a young girl about 14 years old, whose favorite outfit is a super tight black mini-skirt that hugs her bum and extends just a couple of inches past it, topping the outfit off with four or five inch heels. I may sound like a complete prude, but I was shocked that a young girl would feel the need to show off her body like that. Somehow these young people have learned that this is what beauty is. Some say it's freedom of expression. But is it?
1 Peter 3:3-4
People tell me every day how beautiful my children are. It's true, they're adorable! But they are so much more than that. They are witty, sassy, sweet, thoughtful, compassionate, intelligent and so many more things, and I tell them that every day. They need to that they are loved and adored for who they are inside, as much as they need to be complimented on their big brown eyes and gorgeous curly hair.
A final thought - I was trying to choose an outfit for a date a while back and was trying on some dresses with a friend to get her opinion. One of them was quite short, and had apparently shrunk in length. I nevertheless put it on.
Now, this is a friend who I envy. For her beauty, her body, her style...the list goes on. I looked at myself in that dress and thought I saw the fat girl in a really short dress. She commented to me that at least my legs had muscle tone, whereas hers had none. This woman who I envied for her body, had body issues too. Just kind of put things into perspective for me.
We all have our battles, whether it be self esteem, body image, addiction or any other in a myriad of life trials. But the key is to remember that as much as you are struggling with something, so is that person next to you. Let's start building each other up instead of tearing each other down.
Stepping down from my soapbox now...
What's your definition of beautiful?
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Yes. Yes. Yes. In one of my comment responses, I admit that I have said "She needs to eat a burger." And thought I was just joking, but I think from here on out I will question why I say that- is it concern (which sometimes it truly truly is) or jealousy? I mean would I love to be Kate Upton's size? Heck yes- I'd always be in a bikini. Do I love myself at this size? Heck yes.
ReplyDeleteI love your Scripture verse. It is essential for children (girls especially) to know it's more than being beautiful. I try to do the same thing with Sean. I also think I and you too, will be very in tuned with esteem issues in our own children and won't let them lose confidence and loving themselves.
Finally your last part about all women having body issues- so , so true! We are all insecure and in need of a big dose of love. WE are our own worst critic and we always have something that someone else wishes they have. Isn't it funny how sometimes others see us so much clearer ( and more positively) than we see ourselves?
In case you can't tell I love this post, even more than I loved yesterday's post!! :)
Loved your post!!! And I also love that you've come to rethink your own innocent comments about telling someone to go eat a burger. I'm a naturally small person, and very happy with the way I look and very good to my body.....eating and exercising in healthy amounts! However, my best friend in high school had a very severe eating disorder and almost died, so when my father-in-law jokingly told me I looked anorexic once, I took offense to it and asked my husband to please tell his dad not to say that to me any more. I know he was joking, but those comments just hit a little too close to home...
ReplyDeleteLove this. As a mom of two girls, I have strived to send a message early on that pretty is on the inside and that what's on the outside doesn't matter if your heart is ugly.
ReplyDeleteThank you....
ReplyDeleteI have a 3 year old daughter and though I am biased, she is the most beautiful girl...inside & out. I will do my best to continue to tell her everyday she is beautiful and to make sure she stays that way from the inside out.
By the way I love the passage from 1 Peter 3:3-4. I had never read this passage. I will be sure to share it with others. :)
Really enjoyed your post. As a mother one thing I always did with my daughter (who has a great figure) was remind her that ALL women have something about their bodies they HATE. And many times other people don't see the "problem" area at all, until you point it out.
ReplyDeleteWe would discuss women in the public eye. I would point out that many of them do very unhealthy things to their bodies to look the way they do and many are very unhappy and ugly on the inside. I never wanted my daughter to be a girly girl, I taught her to fight like a guy, she is not a pushover and she NEVER let the mean girls bring her down. In fact, there are many mean girls who were brought to tears by her, they never talked mean to her again.
She is a tough cookie, she will stand up for the underdog, cries when she hears the national anthem or our veterans, she is beautiful inside and out.
IMO, it's harder to be a woman of any age now-a-days and going against the proverbial grain is tough but worth it in the end.
Great passage you used.
Hope you have a wonderful weekend.
Would you believe it? I've been told "you should eat more" AND "you look pregnant, don't tell me no, I know what pregnant looks like". I never know how to respond, other than laughing it off, but both hurt. I'd love to just say C'mon man, this is me, get over it! I love that passage too - gotta go find it tonight! Have a great weekend!
ReplyDeleteThis was a great post, such a powerful message. It certainly is one we all need to be reminded of.I love the scripture, I need to print it out and post it up so I see it as a daily reminder.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful post! So true!
ReplyDeleteThis is a thoughtful, timely post and these issues are on my mind often. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteLove, love, love this post. Couldn't agree with you more.
ReplyDelete