Most days, I love my family. I love my kids, I love our home, I love our life.
But then there are THOSE days. You know the ones – where five bills come in the mail at once, the cat pukes all over your new duvet, the computer freezes in the middle of writing a post, the plumber informs you that what you thought was going to be $100 repair has turned into $1200, your six year old tells you he hates you, you burn your last bag of popcorn that you were planning to eat for dinner, and the green eyed monster is rearing it’s head as you stare at one beautiful home after another on Pinterest, only to discover that EVERYONE is better than you.
Yeah, I had had one of THOSE days.
I went to the mall and tried on new makeup. I bought some new colors, including a new mascara that Melissa recommended (and I must say, I love it too!), and I let myself get talked into buying a rosewater spray that supposedly helps keep your makeup looking fresh all day. We’ll see about that.I ate salted caramel frozen yogurt with lots of fresh fruit for lunch. And I bought a really cute new Chevron skirt to wear to SNAP.
It was a good day. A really good day. It felt indulgent and wonderful, and it just made me happy. I was recharged and felt like I was ready to take on the world. I felt like I wasn’t “just a mom” but a woman, too.
It is so important for us as moms, to make sure we take care of ourselves. You know that saying:
It’s meant as a silly little tongue in cheek kind of thing, but if you think about it, it’s really true. If you’re not happy, it’s reflected in the way you parent your children. At my house, that generally translates into more yelling. Not a good thing.So I encourage you…No, I CHALLENGE YOU – today, tomorrow or the next day, just sometime soon – to give yourself a time out. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Hand your kids off to your spouse, the nearest relative, or a friend who “gets it,” and take some time to just enjoy something indulgent.
I’ve put together a list of my favorite things to do when I get a Mommy Break, that won’t break the bank:
- Get a pedicure or manicure
- Get a haircut/color
- Go for a walk
- Window shop at the mall
- Try out a new shade of lipstick or eye shadow
- Have lunch, dinner or even some frozen yogurt with a friend
- Go to a local sandwich shop or Starbucks, and eat lunch quietly by yourself
- Go to the library or local bookstore and sit and read for a while
- Watch the sunset
- See a movie by yourself
Or if you’re home alone, watch a chick flick with a big bowl of ice cream or a glass of wine, take a long hot bubble bath complete with candles, or (gasp) take a nap!
However ~ Do not:
- Clean house
- Grocery shop
- Make a “quick trip” to Target.
- Take children with you.
There is no such thing as a quick trip to Target. This time, it’s all about YOU.
Most importantly, don’t feel guilty – we all need some time to refresh and recharge, and reconnect with the person – the woman – we really want to be. The woman who’s hiding inside that flustered, exhausted, irritable mom.
I’m no expert, but if there’s anything I’ve learned as a parent – when Mama’s happy, everybody’s happy!
Do you take regular Mommy Breaks? What do you like to do when you get time to yourself?
I am all for taking time to yourself of course we all need it, even time away from the husband too. However I do believe that now a days women are taking this to the extreme or at least in my town. I am a childcare provider and in the past years I have seen more and more child left with me for the entire day while the moms go shopping, clean house, hair appointments, the list goes on and on, any excuse really. Or there’s the ” I have so many appointments ” we live in a small town how appointment could you possibly have that take the entire day. I agree that you can leave your children but the ENTIRE day come on, not right. We get plenty of time alone when our children turn 18 and move away. Just think of that. I do get time alone but it doesn’t need to be even once aweek. Once a month should be more than enough. Children miss there parents and talk about it all the time. I also see lots of kids lashing out from not enough family time. As a mother find a balance. Not just think about yourself. After all you chose to be a mother.
I completely understand you point of view. I certainly understand how some moms can take this to an extreme and my hope with this post is that we can each find our own balance that benefits both mother and child.
I second the quiet Starbucks lunch idea. For some reason, sitting in the jazz-filled, calm environment of SB with a cuppa and my laptop just really takes the pressure down a notch for me.
I’m lucky that I can take regular breaks now that I’m separated, I’m afraid to say. I could never take a break when I was married. Just wasn’t possible. For the last couple of weeks I have made it my business to do at least one thing indulgent on at last 1 day of that weekend. Nothing too expensive but just for me. Not sitting at home, listening to silence, looking at the computer. Getting out of the house, seeing a show, having a cheap but nice meal at a restaurant, whatever. We so need it, you’re right!
Anne xx
You forgot to add that taking time for yourself shows your kids that you value yourself. That, in turn, teaches them to value themselves. Win, win and not the least bit selfish!
Absolutely. It also teaches children a lesson, that people need space and time to themselves. That’s important, too.
It’s definitely a great idea to take some “me time”. Glad you had a day to yourself. In August I started going to a place that just does work out classes and I got to about 6 classes a week and I love it. It’s a great way to relieve stress and have fun.
Love this post, now to work on the not feeling guilty part 🙂
Great ideas..Its sound like your getaway was very refreshing.. needing one of those days…don’t have kids at home but just so much to do……moving, the sale of this house…getting it ready..I havae had a BAD day. I do believe I will go take a relaxing hot bath….thanks and blessings!
Love this Kristin! Just got home from a tiring day of running errands, I think I might close my eyes for a minute while the kids nap. xoxo